I myself have very litle pride, because I weight things in another way, I don't have any morales either, same reason I see things differently. All these doesn't mean I'm a bad person or whatever.
Alot of people can say that I'm a nice guy because I'm more of a "ask and you shall receive" kind of person. Damn I feel like I'm really suited for being an 'on fire' Christian but again another part of me doesn't want to. I can't really commit to something like this but I've took all the lessons learnt from church and grasped the meaning from them. To me learning to be a good person is enough.
I'm completely random cause my personality changes back and forth, it isn't till the extent it's like split personality but due to certain things I can be a little different each day.
Just for classification sake cause I see things differently than others. To the people around me a 'brother' would equate somewhat to my 'kyoudai'(siblings). I'm just going by my msn labels cause it's easier to sort of the general public that way. Okay so I might not grasp the whole importance of the brotherhood thing. But then I have my own way. You guys are just irreplaceble.
This group of important people consist of Ben(he was my first real friend),Matthew(Cause he's Ben's brother as well and I sort of can see if we could spend more time together we'd also be close),Nicholas(Cause well he's also closely related to Ben but I also had the time to get to know him and plus being related to each other that way we already treated each other extra importantly).
Next there's Bjorn(an ex classmate of my cousin, I got to really talk to him only after he left the country and we really hit off well till the point he's in this category).
Bridget's also another 1(the way in which I got to know her was kind of wierd but then the short time we hung out together she really became like a little cousin I dote on).
Dolly/Kazio/my ex is the last person(well I once said once you're this close, you'll forever be like family to me. Might not be in the romantic sense now but she's still someone I consider close no matter if we still talk or not).
Next are the people I would call 'tomadachi'(friends). The word 'friend' can be very vague but to me those I actually call friends number in the few. The good friends are Maira (I call her boyfriend), Lovely (some 15 y/o girl I'm really proud of), Ms Ang (she used to be my counsellor), Serene (my poly classmate but I really talked to her alot out of class and we hit off well) and Shu Xian(Jie jie!). Most of these people I see once every few months but still having the notion of them being good friends despite that makes it all the more sincere. For the friends category I have Sha, Jie Ying, Jo, Rachel, Dimitri aka Wolf, Ken aka PerfectKen (So what if you guys claim he's a bastard, it's comfortable talking to him and I've shared with him my fair share of problems and etc.. etc..).
Another out of the box group would be Cheryl Ng, Calvin Ng and Clara Ng. Cheryl's an old primary school classmate and I recently bumped into her again. The past few weeks I've spent like at least a quarter of my time at their house just bumming around and it's like I've kinda accepted them as additional family. Clara's like my little sister, Calvin's the little brother I never had and Cheryl's the sister I don't really bother talking to (<--- lawl at this). These about all the people I actually talk to. I do know plenty of people but mainly due to circumstances they're just aqquaintances, sad to say. I don't really have a wide variety of people I go out with nor do I often get to spend alot of time with all of them(it's more of a round robin thing).
"You might have all the riches in the world but feel empty
You might be the poorest man in the world but lead the most fufilling life"
I don't consider myself having a sad life nor being lonely at all. If you judge it that way then let it be so to you, what matters is loving myself.
Little by little I'm slowly learning what 'Pride' actually is. Yeah it sounds stupid but I don't really know what it's like to have it. It's just recent events have spun 'Pride' to appear in my life really often to the point I actually get its significance. So it comes to pass I'm getting this crucial thing and I just feel it's time to repay the favor by letting whoever doesn't know me to understand.
I'm the guy who reminisces of the past it's just sad
I'm the guy who doesn't seem to anger
I'm the guy who always smiles even though I'm getting scolded
I'm the guy who always smiles even though I cry
I'm not a sad person suffering after a breakup,
but an individual who's grown up after an important life lesson
I face the world with a smile on my face so don't think I feel otherwise...
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
for I am but a shadow.
No comments:
Post a Comment