Been missing too many things lately.. Too many people.. Somehow it just feels that I'm submitting myself to my future and not looking back. True and inevitable as it may be, I just feel that I'll miss everything. Don't even know if I'll be back here 2 years from now or never again. It just feels like the first time I'm stepping into the unknown and not being able to calculate what happens to keep myself mentally prepared.
The feeling of loss maybe... It's a new 1, can't say I like it, but it's good to feel something different. Keeps life interesting that way. I don't like the feeling of being hungry but not wanting to eat either cause I already ate all my meals but then it's good to feel something new. It's fun to see yourself choosing the less desirable outcome and see what you'll do to make things get back on track. I mean like, I'm hungry so I whip up say a 3rd lunch and maybe supper while I'm at it. Then tomorrow I'll start feeling more fats pilling up. You see what I mean lol, it's the norm for me to be able to guess the few probable outcomes but this time I'm acting blindly.
The suspense is just seriously building up. I feel so constipated but I don't know where to explode all the pent up energy on. *Sigh* Guess this is what all those confused people around the world feel. Ironic when something only becomes cystal clear when it's past it's time. 'Better late then never' is how the saying always goes. Haha... I just wish for once my life would balance out. *Smiles* Guess now you know why I'm special. I can be a complete oblivious idiot for mundane necessities but know so much about some so out of the blue you'd wonder what I've been doing behind your back.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
for I am but a shadow.
No comments:
Post a Comment