Post Devoted to my "XMM gang" (group of girls who I know that are under 16)

Lols my title sounds so "tiko".. .Well anyway getting away from that point, upbringing seems to be everything apparently, we're not who we think we are. In a sense that we are what society and upbringing made us to be so basically our personality just fits into the mold of our surroundings and experiences.

Based on that fact, life's pretty fun actually *grins*. Been testing stuff on the above point and with reference for my agenda noting points at regular intervals. Kind of forgot about this till lately when I realised I figured out just about enough for myself.

I became a loner thanks to my primary school days with Ernest. Went over to his house several times a week just to watch him play the computer and pass the time. Parents bought me the Sega console when I was small and due to that I became an avid gamer freak that I am today.
These stuff might sound straightforward but it isn't as simple as that. I shouldn't say criteria but certain instances have to occur before it triggers an effect.

Take the average "ah beng, ah lian" for example. They aren't like this cause they wanted to. No I'm not saying they were forced to. But in fact the point in we never had any free will in this. Our will in things is made up of what we are as a person and that in turn is created by how we mature as a human being. So to put it simply, they were born and raised in a Chinese/Dialect based family. In turn they mixed around with more Chinese speaking friends who has had similar upbringing which then leads to them somewhat following the path laid out to them by default. Yeah some skeptics might argue that they can choose to go down another path. But something must happen before they are so affixed on this path for that thought to even occur inside their heads.

Then there's the group I belong to, the outcasts. I label it that way cause people who are somewhat similar to me don't exactly fit in 1 place. I'm a gamer, I'm a metal junkie, I'm good at literary works and so on and so fort. Kind of a "jack of all trades" but don't really excel or belong to one particular category. In more extreme cases, we get tagged by the label of being wierd but are not really bothered by it. I have two personal examples who are both my friends. The older male, in his thirties, labeled us as misfits and often pondered on topics which others might find bizarre or a waste of time. But we found that we both asked ourselves the same set of questions. Although in terms of personality we might not be exactly the same but our thought matrix and queerness in personality is something to be judged.

What I've been saying is that everything in our life plays a part. Certain changes might take several small occurances while others can happen with just a tiny one. Needless to say all these "theories" as the skeptics might call it are all able to be put down and charted in statistically individually or in groups. I've done it for my own but it's too messy to share and too time consuming to pen down but for those who really want to know, just give me a call and I'll explain it to you over the phone.

You might ask why is it I do all these stuff. Well, with references to the above claims, I used to indulge myself in paleonthology when I was young. Yeah... Who wasn't interested in dinosaurs when they were little kids. But when I use the word indulge it means it was indepth. Not only the kids and teen documentaries on it. But so much as to reading graphic charts, finding out how they were named and the biometrics involved in which they became that way. Interesting stuff.

Another point would be I went into martial arts and weapons at a tender age. Most boys get facinated by all the Bruce Lee and chinese action flicks anyway. Took up Wushu in school(it wasn't enough). Soon after quitted and started learning from books and observation(yeah you can say my whole life is a daydream and I should wake up and face reality) but then, to me this is the most important thing that makes me, me. This "scientiest" kind of character is what developed my thinking skills and overall personality. I just see things too differently from others that I'm not bounded by certain things in life. The martial arts pursuit soon lead to the expansion into ancient military tactics and medieval weaponry and later into more futuristic stuff.

Knowing additional things is one thing. But knowing how to use it to your advantage is another. I lead the wrong path and became a loner for a period of time and lost certain key character traits. Those who know me know it's really hard to make me angry, but really easy to make me cry(that's if you know how).

Now back to the main point(my title) caused I kind of side tracked again. My XMM friends are doing great apparently. Bridget went through that group of hurdles and now she seems less bimboistic. The occurances around her also lead to her reading and writing more and it's now showing a positive sign in terms of thinking and language. Yet the bad things to happen to her keep her overall personality as a girl intact. Valerie umm... I don't know actually prolly still chubby and looks like a hamster? :D Lovely has been doing great all the while and now she stands a chance to study at UWC(United World College). She has an overall good upbringing and now she's sensible, smart, hardworking but her life could lossen up abit in my opinion(she doesn't have much freedom and not really bothered by it cause it's been like this since she remembers). Rozann's becoming a little like me lol. Being labelled "queer" and, like me, thinks and talks differently from our age group. Really sarcastic in a good way also. Victoria, Vanessa and my other cousins I don't really include in this group so I'll leave them out. Don't talk to them much anyway. Lol it's lame really. I don't have and male friends who're much younger than me.

Food for thought, accept it, it's not my own delusions cause if you took psychology at University level you'd learn this in your lectures.

Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
for I am but a shadow.