Effigy; The Dying Animal

It was an artsy type movie... Just resembled so much in my life... The movie is called "Effigy" and since i recently used that word as 1 of my blog titles I decided to watch it while waiting for the Sun to rise. This was the summary they used:
"Cultural critic David Kepesh finds his life -- which he indicates is a state of \"emancipated manhood\" -- thrown into tragic disarray by Consuela Castillo, a well-mannered student who awakens a sense of sexual possessiveness in her teacher."

So I though what the heck sounds interesting but as the movie progressed I just felt sad... My summary is that well the main character 'he' fell in love with 'her' the student. They had sex and he started to ponder about them after a certain period of time when he found that he just couldn't stop thinking about her the day she wasn't there. They progressed in the relationship till the extent that 'his' supposedly parter who's slept with him for 20 years even found 'her' tampon in 'his' house. He lied, well executed I might add and they remained as per normal cause she bought his words. 'She' later asked for him to attend her graduation party and meet the parents. It was then he got tied back by the conversation they had earlier about their future together. She had planned for them to marry etc.. etc.. but then he was afraid to commit. Didn't turn up at the party and came up with a lame excuse. She never called back...

He talks to this bestfriend about it all through the relationship and his advice was what had happened, just a fling(in summary of course). He told 'him' that he had over analysed a simple matter and in the end nature just took it's course. 'He' slowly learned to move on with the help of his bestfriend. 'His' life continued the way it should, giving relationship advice doing cultural stuff and being lonely with his occasional partner showing up.

'His' bestfriend died on his bed and his last act was to kiss his wife, it was touching really, they had just recovered from a rough patch and finally found each other again. 'He' briefly claimed later that he had recovered from everything and was back to normal but soon took his words back as the loneliness hit him twice as hard. Without 'his' bestfriend and confidant, he was truely alone. 'He' confessed his sins to his parter and they parted ways with the best wishes to each other.

Time passed and 'she' called him again. He played the message over and over breaking down and crying. For he said that "all these time I spent, all these years, it was as though they prepared me for this moment". He pondered to possibilities of 'her' wanting to meet up like 'she' getting married and wanting 'his' best regards and several others.

He freshened up, plucked up all his courage and called the girl he could never forget, for she was the only one who made him feel alive. He stutters but finally found his voice to talk to 'her'. 'She' proceeds to head over to 'his' place and they reminisce in their minds while they enact the usual formalities. 'She' explained to him that she has breast cancer and will be undergoing the operation 2 weeks later. An additional request 'she' asked was for 'him' to take pictures of her body once more before they "ruined it". The words that came out of her mouth "I know you once loved me, onced loved my body" was her plea to him. Not bearing to turn down the woman he loves he agrees to it and things are reluctantly set into motion.

'He' offers the simplest of things but was turned down and they parted. After the surgery 'he' went to visit her and she was glad yet surprised he came. For 'he' had made his decision, knowing or unknowingly. As 'he' sat on her bed next to her and 'she' lie in his embrace, with her right breast gone they movie ends with them seemingly spending the rest of their lives together.

The movie was based on this book called "The Dying Animal". The similarities in what I'm going through right now, it's undeniable and I can only deduce the same things as before while being unable to act for fear of letdown once again. Going through the same things in life made the story reach all the more into my heart. Yes there was one regret in my life and I feel as though all my experiences were only to prepare me for what's to come. Some people might not be happy about this but it is my decision to carry on this way. I choose to be sad so when the days finally change, I would truely be happy.

Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
for I am but a shadow.