Know what? I'm in love with like everything sappy and sad in the World. It's so masochistic. It's like I know it's gunna make me cry over and over again but that doesn't phase my resolution or even come up to mind that it's going to be a problem after that. Blame it on visceral impulses.
It's like... Sappy songs which listening to it over and over again can cause one to cry. Soaps which never fail to make me ever so sad. I even burn the whole day finishing whole series. For today Kurokami The Animation, it ends with the scene of a guy having his wedding with the childhood friend and him, on his deathbed, aged with a full mane of white hair facing the sunset, after his final words telepathically through 1 final syncronisation, he passes on with the scene of his grandchildren calling him to dinner.
Keita: Kuro, that's enough now. I'll take the curse with me, my life has been nothing but bliss. Thank You.
Kuro: Thank goodness. Keita has always... Thank you. Rest in peace, my contractee.
Kuro, on her self imposed seclusion starts tearing and said to herself those words. I know it doesn't exactly have anything to do with me but it just pains me so much. Yes I know it doesn't make sense to you who's reading but hey I'm crying here so let me be. It's just damn touching because they both were "watashi no taisetsunamono" , my most important person, to each other through everthing they faced.
So let me ask you. I know we all should pick the better choice. Leading a successful life and blissfully retiring. But I pick the other even if it leads me to be a pauper because I'm with the one 1 love most. That's what being the most important to me means. I just have a very Japanese orientated, sucker girl mentality. What would you choose?
Just having my little moment now for the people who's not in my life, even after trying my best.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
One of The Brightest Stars
Sunday 26 July 2009
Friday 24 July 2009
Laaazy ; ambigiousness
Thinking of joining Evolve after I ORD, the training's good and it's somewhere I can display the talent I was ever so proud of. It just feels like I'm turning my head away at this point of time, like betraying my very beliefs. After all I've been asked to join so many times.
Wonder how all the guys back at Ninja are doing since I last heard of them. Missed the days we sweat, ate and limped, all battered and broken. Those were harsh yet, fun times.
Currently doing things which are so not me apparently. Enjoying Chinese songs, English pop. Oh yeah have I mentioned? Pink totally has spunk and I love her for it, of course as well as her voice. Plus Pink = my favourite color as well. Lol...
Hmm... You realise I always say the words "lol" alot. I always get asked why am I laughing or smiling at the same time you know. It's just my natural reaction and I'm not really sure how it came about. Praise and getting earfuls have been the norm with this trait of mine.
Spinal Tap's on my 'A' list now. It's original... It's hilarious... Heck, it's a bloody classic. "No one knows who they were or what they were doing, but their legacy remains" What kind of fucking line is that? It's doesn't make any sense but lol. There's this other part where this male receptionist gets asked "How are we gonna fit 14 people in a king sized bed?" and he says "Don't tempt me sir.". I was all caught up in their thick accents that I didn't even realise the fella was gay till later. Must watch movie, so here's it's trailer.
"A place where eardrums go to die... From the living legends of rock and roll lunacy, this is spinal tap".
Everwhere I turn it's a Les Paul you know oh yeah and also Fender, but I favor Les Paul! Gonna get myself a Gibson standard sooner or later then work my way to an Esp or ibanez even. Lol yes I'm dreaming but it's all good.
Kinda miss the ex now that she's gone for good. Oh wells, life goes on without her anyways.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
Wonder how all the guys back at Ninja are doing since I last heard of them. Missed the days we sweat, ate and limped, all battered and broken. Those were harsh yet, fun times.
Currently doing things which are so not me apparently. Enjoying Chinese songs, English pop. Oh yeah have I mentioned? Pink totally has spunk and I love her for it, of course as well as her voice. Plus Pink = my favourite color as well. Lol...
Hmm... You realise I always say the words "lol" alot. I always get asked why am I laughing or smiling at the same time you know. It's just my natural reaction and I'm not really sure how it came about. Praise and getting earfuls have been the norm with this trait of mine.
Spinal Tap's on my 'A' list now. It's original... It's hilarious... Heck, it's a bloody classic. "No one knows who they were or what they were doing, but their legacy remains" What kind of fucking line is that? It's doesn't make any sense but lol. There's this other part where this male receptionist gets asked "How are we gonna fit 14 people in a king sized bed?" and he says "Don't tempt me sir.". I was all caught up in their thick accents that I didn't even realise the fella was gay till later. Must watch movie, so here's it's trailer.
"A place where eardrums go to die... From the living legends of rock and roll lunacy, this is spinal tap".
Everwhere I turn it's a Les Paul you know oh yeah and also Fender, but I favor Les Paul! Gonna get myself a Gibson standard sooner or later then work my way to an Esp or ibanez even. Lol yes I'm dreaming but it's all good.
Kinda miss the ex now that she's gone for good. Oh wells, life goes on without her anyways.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
Saturday 4 July 2009
Distance...
Bri I think you look hawt on webcam. Lol you're prolly gunna go wtf in your room but yeah... Wth lol.
Okay like I was saying, distance. It's just that everyone feels so distant. The people I want to talk to and see, always so far away.
Lazy yet again. Started with 4 lines. Left it to ferment overnight and here I am, back again staring blankly at the screen in hopes of inspiration.
I came across these words yesterday which sure hit the bullseye. "The both of us really were slow, weren't we? Hurting each other, deceiving each other, facing each other. But this will be the last time we hurt each other. Her... Me... And you too... I've always.... Always... Loved you." We're all so not honest to ourselves...
Date with darling sure felt great cause we could do stuff unhindered. Walked and walked and walked, all over town, 2 times over. Abigail doesn't remember me and I agree Sonia is the slutty kind of pretty. Kinda took me by surprise when she greeted me with a left handshake instead of a right. We went like everywhere looking for an open tattoo shop and the girls went on and on about some famous tattoo artist. Something two thumbs or something =/ The 2 bimbos left and I finally came out of retirement from pool.
Really enjoyed getting owned lol. At least it was constructive. Talked loads and we were almost died walking to take the night rider. Darling you know... My bus went to Orchard as well so why the hell did we go all the way to City Hall?
Wonder where Rozann died to? Well for consolations, found out Winnie and Lovely share a common interest with me in German. Lets do pool! :D
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
Okay like I was saying, distance. It's just that everyone feels so distant. The people I want to talk to and see, always so far away.
Lazy yet again. Started with 4 lines. Left it to ferment overnight and here I am, back again staring blankly at the screen in hopes of inspiration.
I came across these words yesterday which sure hit the bullseye. "The both of us really were slow, weren't we? Hurting each other, deceiving each other, facing each other. But this will be the last time we hurt each other. Her... Me... And you too... I've always.... Always... Loved you." We're all so not honest to ourselves...
Date with darling sure felt great cause we could do stuff unhindered. Walked and walked and walked, all over town, 2 times over. Abigail doesn't remember me and I agree Sonia is the slutty kind of pretty. Kinda took me by surprise when she greeted me with a left handshake instead of a right. We went like everywhere looking for an open tattoo shop and the girls went on and on about some famous tattoo artist. Something two thumbs or something =/ The 2 bimbos left and I finally came out of retirement from pool.
Really enjoyed getting owned lol. At least it was constructive. Talked loads and we were almost died walking to take the night rider. Darling you know... My bus went to Orchard as well so why the hell did we go all the way to City Hall?
Wonder where Rozann died to? Well for consolations, found out Winnie and Lovely share a common interest with me in German. Lets do pool! :D
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
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