Me

How I wish I could surrender my soul;

Shed the clothes that become my skin;

See the liar that burns within my needing.

how I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.

how I wish I had screamed out loud,

Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away;find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.

It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;

Hold memory close at hand,Help me understand the years.

How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.

How I wish I would save my soul.I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.

Far, far away; find comfort in pain.

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Songs... They're what go through my mind always. I think in pictures. I am never alone. I always talk to myself up in my head. Slowly figuring out what the pictures I see in my head mean. Yes it sounds as if I'm one step from being crazy. In fact I really am. If certain criteria are met I will be. The above song describes my current life. In fact, any and all 'emo' songs that comes to mind just are able to describe my life. Why? The way I face life it's just sad. But being sad doesn't mean I don't get happy or I don't stop living.

I am everything all together. I am sad, I am caring, I am lazy, I am hardworking, I am smart, I am stupid and the list goes on. It just depends what comes out. I believe we all are. So if each of them represents a color and I'm everything, means I am the color black. So no matter what you do to me, no matter what you make me feel, I'll always return to being black. Yes adding white will result in grey, but can you ever add enough white in my life? Don't forget the amount of white needs to be equal.

Lies.. What do they mean to you? Look beyond the lie, beyond words, beyond actions. What do you see? The reason they do. I've done the biggest taboo in lying. It got so big and lasted so long it became the truth. Till now it still haunts me once in awhile. My friends might be lying, but are they lying to me or lying to everyone or worse lying to everyone including themselves. Let me tell you, to me the worst equals to the person being the most needy. Of course this onnly applies to people I care about. In normal cases I just take it lightly.

Anger.. Few people have actually seen me angry cause I hardly ever do. In life only afew things and afew people mean enough to actually make me angry. If you ever make me angry, it just means I actually care about what you say and think.

I am a shadow to those I follow. You hit me but you feel the pain.No matter where you run or what you do to me, when the Sun shines again, I'll just be right by your side. Never give up, never turn your back away, never doubt. Thats what those close mean to me. My brothers you'll always be.