I just think we all conform too much to society that we leave our individuality behind somewhere. It's a pain, really. Having to follow the flow, take for instance DotA. Words like Vladmir becomes Vladimir in Singaporean tongue, Final Fantasy Dissidia becomes Disilda.
I agree with the conversation I had the other day that I'm always too detached. Well I think it's because there's nothing for me to attach to. I mean who really talks to me? Well besides the darling who I talk to almost every night. But somehow I can't really express myself there either.
It's just a love hate relationship really. Darling taking your degree now, the only thing I remember is you calling someone a gnome and being pissed off at you. Go figure?
I'm taking a little time off from everything. Might be missing for awhile but I wasn't there in anyone's life to begin with, doesn't really matter to anyone.
Just going through a long term pms here. Up to you if you decide to call.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
One of The Brightest Stars
Sunday 24 May 2009
Sunday 17 May 2009
Birthday
You know your birthday supposed to be the most joyous occassion but it always sucked for me. This year especially. I was nearly pissed off at every single person at 1 point save Serene.
Maira doesn't really bother to contact me. Called her on Friday to hear her say she was waiting for me to call, delayed cause she had another birthday celebration to attend to. Saturday she messaged me before the movie but didn't call me after. At that point of time I was already so pissed off I couldn't remember to call her either way. (Really disappointed)
Ben just pisses me off cause he always has this overpowering attitude towards me and can't seem to tell that I'm not the teen who used to always listen to him. Didn't wish me either even though I asked him why. (Pissed off)
Nicholas didn't want to wish me either because he loves to 'guai lan' and said he couldn't remember such things due to work. Argued with Nicole and both of them bailed on me at the end. (Not really angry just adding to the fuel)
Nicole forgot to inform Nicholas on the plans and didn't remember most of the stuff we agreed on earlier too. (Not really angry just adding to the fuel)
Pei Zi delayed till the point I didn't know if she was even coming so I went ahead with Bridget, Kevin and Rozann to the west side. She messages me when I'm almost there so I asked her to choose a station to meet and she doesn't want to. So I pick Chinese Gardens where I was at and she gets pissed off 5 minutes later. To top that off she reverted to the old lingo she had when I first met her and she was always smiling in disbelief at the things I've said. Had to send her back all the way to Pasir Ris and take a cab back. If she had the courtesy to tell me she didn't want to eat supper together anymore I could have dropped at tampiness for my last bus back. I follow her to outside Pasir Ris mrt and she just says 'bye bye'.
Cried myself to sleep on Friday because I was already experiencing more shit prior to this and another time the week before.
Only heartfelt thing that I received was the birthday wish from Nicole (not that one but this girl who used to be called Germaine, a year older than me and stays 5minutes away), even though its been at least 3-4 months since our last exchange of messages and it's more or less been me acting as her dictionary on a monthly basis. Still despite all the odds she still remembers my birthday and sincerely wished me. Well would love to meet her soon but she always turns me down so I don't really know.
At least Rozann made my day by making me laugh so hard so many times.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
Maira doesn't really bother to contact me. Called her on Friday to hear her say she was waiting for me to call, delayed cause she had another birthday celebration to attend to. Saturday she messaged me before the movie but didn't call me after. At that point of time I was already so pissed off I couldn't remember to call her either way. (Really disappointed)
Ben just pisses me off cause he always has this overpowering attitude towards me and can't seem to tell that I'm not the teen who used to always listen to him. Didn't wish me either even though I asked him why. (Pissed off)
Nicholas didn't want to wish me either because he loves to 'guai lan' and said he couldn't remember such things due to work. Argued with Nicole and both of them bailed on me at the end. (Not really angry just adding to the fuel)
Nicole forgot to inform Nicholas on the plans and didn't remember most of the stuff we agreed on earlier too. (Not really angry just adding to the fuel)
Pei Zi delayed till the point I didn't know if she was even coming so I went ahead with Bridget, Kevin and Rozann to the west side. She messages me when I'm almost there so I asked her to choose a station to meet and she doesn't want to. So I pick Chinese Gardens where I was at and she gets pissed off 5 minutes later. To top that off she reverted to the old lingo she had when I first met her and she was always smiling in disbelief at the things I've said. Had to send her back all the way to Pasir Ris and take a cab back. If she had the courtesy to tell me she didn't want to eat supper together anymore I could have dropped at tampiness for my last bus back. I follow her to outside Pasir Ris mrt and she just says 'bye bye'.
Cried myself to sleep on Friday because I was already experiencing more shit prior to this and another time the week before.
Only heartfelt thing that I received was the birthday wish from Nicole (not that one but this girl who used to be called Germaine, a year older than me and stays 5minutes away), even though its been at least 3-4 months since our last exchange of messages and it's more or less been me acting as her dictionary on a monthly basis. Still despite all the odds she still remembers my birthday and sincerely wished me. Well would love to meet her soon but she always turns me down so I don't really know.
At least Rozann made my day by making me laugh so hard so many times.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
Saturday 9 May 2009
Best wishes
Another couple of days to our anniversary, so how's it going?
Goddamn I must be high in the morning to be doing this.
Vocals just get me high =/
Well thought of saying something a little more than 'hi' and this was kind of the occassion I chose.
Don't know how you've been doing and we don't talk anymore so this is the best way I know how.
Just wishing you all the best and hope you can cross out more things in that little list of yours.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
Goddamn I must be high in the morning to be doing this.
Vocals just get me high =/
Well thought of saying something a little more than 'hi' and this was kind of the occassion I chose.
Don't know how you've been doing and we don't talk anymore so this is the best way I know how.
Just wishing you all the best and hope you can cross out more things in that little list of yours.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
Sunday 3 May 2009
Love you
Annie, you had your name in the bright lights.
I thought I saw your photograph having such a laugh in a magazine,
Did it all come tumbling?
Annie, you were made for the big time.
They said you're a star to be in the NME,
But the walls came tumbling down, down. Will you go down on me?
'Cause Annie you're a star, that's just not going very far.
And all the world will know your name,
And you'll be famous as you are 'cause I'll sing for you.
Annie, would it be nice to be recognised?
And did you practise your autograph but now no one's asked and it's such a shame,
That the dreams are crumbling?
Annie, why aren't you bathed in the limelight?
'Cause I thought that you said you'd be a celebrity several years ago.
Did it all come tumbling down, down. Will you go down on me?
'Cause Annie you're a star, that's just not going very far.
And all the world will know your name,
And you'll be famous as you are 'cause I'll sing for you.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
I thought I saw your photograph having such a laugh in a magazine,
Did it all come tumbling?
Annie, you were made for the big time.
They said you're a star to be in the NME,
But the walls came tumbling down, down. Will you go down on me?
'Cause Annie you're a star, that's just not going very far.
And all the world will know your name,
And you'll be famous as you are 'cause I'll sing for you.
Annie, would it be nice to be recognised?
And did you practise your autograph but now no one's asked and it's such a shame,
That the dreams are crumbling?
Annie, why aren't you bathed in the limelight?
'Cause I thought that you said you'd be a celebrity several years ago.
Did it all come tumbling down, down. Will you go down on me?
'Cause Annie you're a star, that's just not going very far.
And all the world will know your name,
And you'll be famous as you are 'cause I'll sing for you.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
Saturday 2 May 2009
A contradiction for you
Still can't be bothered to change my blogskin and music even though I'm sick of looking at the whole thing and the music's just plain irritating. Lol.... I'm just too lazy =/
So back on topic, what's a hug to you? A friendly gesture, or perhaps a show of affection, each individual gives them out ,or should I say share the moment, with another based on different criteria.
I remember about 2 months back. A good friend shared with me a very funny valentine's day experience he had. It involved my dancer friend and a random pretty lady. Point is the pretty lady hugged him just to spread the love of valentine's day.
Now besides this kind of people, Singaporeans are pretty much REALLY SHY? People might want to argue that they're able to broach certain subjects blah blah, but they're not all that open or receptive to things foreign and not of the norm apparently.
We're all so staunched up in our view of society and social upbringings most of the time it's hard to open up to certain views that don't match our own. I remember N&N getting each other pissed off the other day because of this as well.
Going back onto affection, how many of you will actually display something similar to a person you just know and how many more are mature enough not to assume and despise another because "he/she did something which does not abide to regular social behaviour for a stranger/new friend"
I know people who are pretty staunch on physical contacts between a male and a female. He does this to her "I can call it molest",and I've heard stuff like "guys and girls shouldn't stand so close/hug"
Americans being labelled as crazy or slutty because they flash for the camera or have casual sex. But how can you judge based on just that. It's like we've not grown out of the social ettiquete from the 12th century or something where women can't even show their bare arms cause it's against moral values and you'd be called a slut.
You bump into a person and suddenly it becomes a fight. There's just so many things that show our social immaturity. If I want to put it in a really bad way I can say displaying such behaviour is being apparent to a savage man.
I've seen cases where people go on and on about seeing ghosts, about god, about religion about karma. Now I pose this question, does any of this make a direct impact in life? I've seen staunch christians who question others and say their god is the true god. Bodily harm for the sake of a religion is to dabble in the taboo. For each individual their take on this is different. There's more to things than what is told/knownso if I tell you the force exerted from a punch is enough to break the brick there, you still won't be able to do it without practice because it goes against the logic you've built up. Many would even say it's impossible to do it because their not strong enough, so then how did I drive my fist through one when I was a skinny little kid. You don't believe in something positive like this but yet are afraid of ghosts. Funny right. But for the brick thing it can be proven by physics but ghosts can not yet be proven yet so many people believe. If chanting prayers or wearing talismans can help. You mean there isn't a way to help yourself without god and without religion on this?
Sure I've seen the logic behind the whole supernatural thing and I have my beliefs. By the way I'm aethist, but not the kind that's into the whole "I've never seen a ghost so ghosts don't exist". Heck the majority say they have never seen one but believe they're there. I can't give a solid answer if they're there or they're not but I know one thing. So what. I've had plenty of supernatural encounters. I'm using this word cause it's just easier that way. One being a group of us go to OCH for I don't know why since they're scared. But I had to lead cause I've been there plenty and I'm supposed to chaperon. Then a girl gets possessed but what majority says is a pontianak and I exorcised it. Yeah that's one way to look at things, but another is. While walking down the halls she gets so freaked out her mind gets a little screwed and I had to do something that applies to the logic of the whole supernatural just so I "bluff" her that it's gone when it was something she created in her own mind. The second view is just playing with the human psyche which I'm all so fond of. I even play with my own once in awhile :D So back on topic why must most people see it either we see ghosts or we're lying to ourselves. Can't we be a little more open to the topic and wait. From my point of view, sitting on the fence here doesn't seem so bad. You just have to see it both ways.
Pardon my rantings and a little food for thought.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
So back on topic, what's a hug to you? A friendly gesture, or perhaps a show of affection, each individual gives them out ,or should I say share the moment, with another based on different criteria.
I remember about 2 months back. A good friend shared with me a very funny valentine's day experience he had. It involved my dancer friend and a random pretty lady. Point is the pretty lady hugged him just to spread the love of valentine's day.
Now besides this kind of people, Singaporeans are pretty much REALLY SHY? People might want to argue that they're able to broach certain subjects blah blah, but they're not all that open or receptive to things foreign and not of the norm apparently.
We're all so staunched up in our view of society and social upbringings most of the time it's hard to open up to certain views that don't match our own. I remember N&N getting each other pissed off the other day because of this as well.
Going back onto affection, how many of you will actually display something similar to a person you just know and how many more are mature enough not to assume and despise another because "he/she did something which does not abide to regular social behaviour for a stranger/new friend"
I know people who are pretty staunch on physical contacts between a male and a female. He does this to her "I can call it molest",and I've heard stuff like "guys and girls shouldn't stand so close/hug"
Americans being labelled as crazy or slutty because they flash for the camera or have casual sex. But how can you judge based on just that. It's like we've not grown out of the social ettiquete from the 12th century or something where women can't even show their bare arms cause it's against moral values and you'd be called a slut.
You bump into a person and suddenly it becomes a fight. There's just so many things that show our social immaturity. If I want to put it in a really bad way I can say displaying such behaviour is being apparent to a savage man.
I've seen cases where people go on and on about seeing ghosts, about god, about religion about karma. Now I pose this question, does any of this make a direct impact in life? I've seen staunch christians who question others and say their god is the true god. Bodily harm for the sake of a religion is to dabble in the taboo. For each individual their take on this is different. There's more to things than what is told/knownso if I tell you the force exerted from a punch is enough to break the brick there, you still won't be able to do it without practice because it goes against the logic you've built up. Many would even say it's impossible to do it because their not strong enough, so then how did I drive my fist through one when I was a skinny little kid. You don't believe in something positive like this but yet are afraid of ghosts. Funny right. But for the brick thing it can be proven by physics but ghosts can not yet be proven yet so many people believe. If chanting prayers or wearing talismans can help. You mean there isn't a way to help yourself without god and without religion on this?
Sure I've seen the logic behind the whole supernatural thing and I have my beliefs. By the way I'm aethist, but not the kind that's into the whole "I've never seen a ghost so ghosts don't exist". Heck the majority say they have never seen one but believe they're there. I can't give a solid answer if they're there or they're not but I know one thing. So what. I've had plenty of supernatural encounters. I'm using this word cause it's just easier that way. One being a group of us go to OCH for I don't know why since they're scared. But I had to lead cause I've been there plenty and I'm supposed to chaperon. Then a girl gets possessed but what majority says is a pontianak and I exorcised it. Yeah that's one way to look at things, but another is. While walking down the halls she gets so freaked out her mind gets a little screwed and I had to do something that applies to the logic of the whole supernatural just so I "bluff" her that it's gone when it was something she created in her own mind. The second view is just playing with the human psyche which I'm all so fond of. I even play with my own once in awhile :D So back on topic why must most people see it either we see ghosts or we're lying to ourselves. Can't we be a little more open to the topic and wait. From my point of view, sitting on the fence here doesn't seem so bad. You just have to see it both ways.
Pardon my rantings and a little food for thought.
Sin†ner™
Do not wonder,
For I am but a shadow
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